To help you gauge both, I’ve prepared a brief marriage report card. It’s a simple way to take inventory of where your marriage is. Be aware: many of these diagnostic statements are about your spouse. So, for this to work well, you need to both complete it honestly. Grade each statement. Then each category overall.
After you both complete it, make plans to go to dinner or somewhere by yourself and compare. Talk. Pray. Then, set some achievable goals to improve those areas that need it. The point of this “report card” is not to fix anything, but to shed light on areas that you need to can talk about, pray about, and work on. Every marriage – even Christian ones – can use a tune-up. Why not start today?
A = This area is wonderful and I could not be more satisfied.
B = This area is quite good but there’s always room for growth.
C = This area is okay yet I want us to improve some things.
D = This area is not good and we need to work on it now.
F = This area is critical and is damaging out relationship badly.
SPIRITUAL LIFE Overall Grade: _____
_____ Jesus is Lord of our marriage.
_____ The time we spend reading the Bible and praying together is healthy.
_____ I admire my spouse’s priority for and involvement in church.
_____ We discuss what the Lord is teaching us and keep each other accountable.
_____ My spouse and I look for ways to serve and help other couples.
COMMUNICATION Overall Grade: _____
_____ I find it easy to ask for forgiveness from my spouse.
_____ When we disagree, our conversations are still uplifting and respectful.
_____ I feel like my views/opinions are heard, considered, and factored in.
_____ I can share my deepest thoughts and feelings with my spouse.
_____ My spouse regularly says, “Thank You” for what I do in our home.
_____ We communicate well – especially in being honest and open.
_____ In times of stress, our marriage is a comfort and support to me.
_____ We set aside a good amount of time to talk together.
ROLES & EXPECTATIONS Overall Grade: _____
_____ My spouse does his/her fair share of household chores or jobs.
_____ I clearly understand what my spouse expects of me in day-to-day situations.
_____ I am willing to invest time and money into improving our marriage.
_____ I am committed to doing whatever it takes to make our marriage work.
_____ My spouse strives to fulfill their Ephesians 5 role (as Christ or the church).
LOVE & SEX Overall Grade: _____
_____ My spouse loves me in many practical and tangible ways.
_____ I feel valued by, cherished by, and important to my spouse.
_____ We surprise each other with occasion gifts or unexpected attention.
_____ We laugh, have fun, and enjoy each other’s company.
_____ Sex is a regular and satisfying part of our marriage.
_____ Our sexual desires are compatible.
_____ We discuss our sexual preferences and priorities freely and well.
FAMILY & PARENTING Overall Grade: _____
_____ My marriage is one of the most important things in my life.
_____ Our in-laws (and extended family) have a healthy role in our marriage.
_____ I feel supported by my spouse when I make a parenting decision.
_____ We have a clear, agreed upon plan for how to discipline our kids.
FINANCES & FUTURE Overall Grade: _____
_____ I like our short-term and long-term financial goals.
_____ I trust my spouse’s spending habits.
_____ My spouse exhibits a healthy ambition and work ethic.
_____ I look forward to our future together.